Anime Celebrity Jeopardy!: Sailor Moon
by dbsmlc
Summary: This is the tale of what happens when Usagi, Chibi-Usa, and Ami compete for the top prize in a special episode of Jeopardy! Please R/R! Chapter two is up!
1. Before the Show

Anime Celebrity Jeopardy!: Sailor Moon By dbsmlc  
  
These characters do not belong to me. Sailor Moon and all related characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, DiC, Cloverleaf, Pioneer, and a lot of people who are much richer than I am. Alex Trebek belongs to Alex Trebek. Jeopardy! belongs to ???, but whoever it belongs to.isn't me! Please don't sue me. Oh yes, the plot line, that, and only that, belongs to me. It's mine, all mine! Mwahahahahaha! *coughs* Excuse me. Let the tale begin.  
  
Usagi shifted uncomfortably in her seat, which was, at this point, cold and.well.uncomfortable. She turned to her left and saw her first opponent, Ami Mizuno, the smartest girl she knew. For some reason, Usagi thought that she still stood a chance against her blue-haired genius friend. Considering her odds made Usagi hang her head in despair. She turned to her right to view her other opponent, her annoying daughter from the future, Chibi-Usa. The pink-haired spore was bouncing happily back and forth, having been given a special stool so that she could see over the podium.  
  
Noticing that her mother was looking at her, Chibi-Usa turned to Usagi and gave her a sweet smile.right before blowing a raspberry right in her face.  
  
Angered by this, Usagi repeated the action. This went on for a more minutes. Mamoru, who was sitting in the audience along with the rest of the Inners as well as the Outers, shook his head and walked up on stage. However, as he was approaching the podiums, two security guards came out of the shadows, grabbed him and threw him out of the studio, the whole time kicking and screaming.  
  
Usagi, who had looked up just long enough to notice this, began to scream irately at the two security guards, "How dare you kick my future husband out of the studio! What were you thinking?"  
  
One of the guards tried to explain, "Ma'am, it's standard safety procedures. No one is supposed to be on the stage except for the contestants and Mr. Trebek."  
  
As Usagi's eye began to tick, Rei could tell all the way from the audience that she was about to burst into tears. Rei tried to run up onto the stage to whack her on the head, but she too was stopped by the security guards. They threw her out onto the street where Mamoru was sitting, head in hands. Rei thought to herself, Maybe this won't be such a bad day after all.  
  
Crawling discreetly towards Mamoru, she was just about to kiss him on the cheek when the distraught man began to fling his arms about, ranting about his future wife and daughter. Unfortunately, one of his wildly swinging arms smacked Rei straight across the face. Hearing the noise, Mamoru turned around to see Rei unconscious on the warm sidewalk, little spirals replacing her eyes. Realizing what he had done, an incredibly large drop of sweat appeared on his forehead. Mamoru lifted Rei and propped her against the wall. Then he proceeded with his ranting.  
  
Meanwhile, within the studio's walls, Usagi was wailing at the top of her lungs, salty tears pouring from her eyes in torrents. Ami had pulled out her umbrella and was calmly reading a book, but Chibi-Usa, who was not so well prepared, was looking pretty angry as the salty water flooded on top of her, drenching her from head to toe. Hotaru, who was one of the smarter members of the Senshi team, pulled an extra pair of Chibi-Usa's clothes from the bag that Chibi-Usa had given her for just such an occasion.  
  
The security guards finally got Usagi to stop crying by going and getting Mamoru and Rei, who was still unconscious, and bringing them back to their seats. Mamoru managed to do a little wave in Usagi's direction. Immediately, she stopped sniffling and gigantic hearts replaced her eyeballs. This, however, left Chibi-Usa open to do her evil spore-like deeds. Jumping up on top of the podium, Chibi-Usa grabbed Ami's umbrella and began to beat Usagi over the head with it.  
  
Usagi was quite offended by this and so proceeded to take her demon child and turn her upside down and shake her repeatedly. It was in this state that the host of the show, Mr. Alex Trebek, found his contestants. Shocked and dismayed, Mr. Trebek exaggeratedly cleared his throat. Turning, Usagi noticed him for the first time and immediately dropped her pink haired demon child. Chibi-Usa, who for some reason never gets hurt as much as she should, simply bounced back up.  
  
Hotaru saw her chance. Holding Chibi-Usa's clothes tightly to her chest, Hotaru ran up to the stage, not on the stage, mind you, they could have kicked her out for that, and threw the bundle of clothes at the pink-haired brat from Crystal Tokyo. Chibi-Usa grabbed them and used her transformation pen to go to that alternate dimension that the senshi use when transforming. She quickly shucked her wet and salty outfit and replaced it with a drier, nicer smelling, identical one. She waved her transformation pen around and with a plop landed on her feet on the stool.  
  
Alex, who by this point was a little nervous, just shook his head and walked up to the three contestants. "Hi," he said, "I'm Alex Trebek, the host of Jeopardy! You three are part of our Anime Celebrity Jeopardy! event. As you know, you've been carefully selected to represent your particular anime. Do the rest of your characters proud. Anyway, remember, halfway through round one, we'll go through a quick question and answer segment about each of you. The only time you can leave your podiums is during the commercial breaks, and, most important, no discussion between contestants at any time, except during the commercial breaks. Okay, are you all ready?"  
  
Ami nodded swiftly and thought to herself, This is a piece of cake. I have to spend, what, maybe an hour or two of my life in this studio, answer some amazingly easy questions, and I get paid big bucks to do it. I wish this kind of thing would happen more often.  
  
Chibi-Usa, who hadn't stopped nodding was slapped on the back of the head by Usagi. This made Chibi-Usa dizzy, and the little pink-haired spore toppled over, landing with a loud smacking noise on the cold concrete floor. When the spore stood up, she was sprouting a large bump on the top of her forehead. Realizing this, Hotaru grabbed hold of the still unconscious Rei and managed to combine her healing powers with Rei's psychic energy. This way Chibi-Usa was quickly healed.  
  
However, doing this awakened Rei, who thinking she was still outside with Mamoru, kissed the nearest person to her, which, in this case, happened to be Hotaru. Hotaru screamed and pulled away, and Rei, realizing what she had done, began to apologize profusely, as Haruka glared menacingly at her.  
  
Rei spurted, "But I.I didn't know.I thought it was Mamoru.Oh, Haruka, please don't hurt me."  
  
Haruka, who was easily appeased when people begged for mercy, shrugged and put her arm back around Michiru, who giggled girlishly. Rei turned about fifty shades of red, as she also realized that Mamoru had heard the whole thing.  
  
By this time, the rest of the audience, most of whom were anime fans, had realized who this select group of people were. They tried repetitively to get autographs, but the only senshi who would give them out was Minako, the vain ditz that she was. After signing about fifty different articles, Minako's arm was beginning to hurt. Suddenly, she looked up to see that the next person in line was a very fat man of about forty.  
  
He had a very southern accent as he asked, "Will you sign my stomach?"  
  
Minako, who was so repulsed by the sight of this LARGE man lifting his shirt, could do nothing more than take the permanent marker from his hands and scribble her signature across his skin.  
  
He smiled, took the marker back, and said, "Wait till I show the guys back home. They'll just love it."  
  
After this, Minako stopped signing autographs and ran to the bathroom, where she spent most of the taping, puking her guts out. Good, Setsuna thought, I never liked that ditz anyway.  
  
Finally, it was time for filming to begin. Usagi pulled a large powder puff from her purse and began to powder her nose. Chibi-Usa, who loved to mimic her mother, pulled a gigantic cotton ball from her own tiny purse and began to pat her own nose. Usagi thought this was rather cute, and so she handed Chibi-Usa the actual powder puff. Big mistake.  
  
The camera man began to speak, "Lights."  
  
Chibi-Usa smashed the puff against her face and soon a large cloud of white powder flew around all three contestants, enveloping them, like Mercury's Bubble Blast.  
  
"Camera."  
  
After the dust cleared, Usagi and Chibi-Usa were covered in the white powder, but Ami, who as always was prepared for anything, had gone into the transformation dimension and so was just as clean as she had been before. Realizing that the show was going to start very soon, Chibi-Usa did the only thing she could think of to hide the powder puff. She stuffed the entire thing down the back of her pants. Hey, this feels kind of nice, she thought.  
  
"Action!" 


	2. Round One: First Half

Alex Trebek walked onto the stage and said, "Hello everyone. Welcome to Jeopardy!"  
  
The applause sign lit up and the entire audience began to clap and cheer. Rei began to shout, "Go Ami! Yeah, beat the odango atama and her pink spore brat! Woohoo!"  
  
Mamoru shot her glance of pure evil, I mean they are his future wife and spawn after all. Rei's face glowed red as embarrassment filled her. She curled up in a ball and sat there, frustrated with herself. She just couldn't do anything right, could she?  
  
Up on stage, Alex was reading off the six categories, "Dragon, Ball, 'Z', the Z being in quotation marks, Advanced Spelling, True Love, and , of course, Sailor Moon. Usagi, you start us off."  
  
Ami's mouth was gaping at the stupidity level of these categories. A child could win with these questions. I might actually have to work at this.  
  
Usagi, meanwhile, had been studying the categories carefully and had come to decision. "Alex, I'll take Sailor Moon for two hundred, please."  
  
They heard a voice come over the intercom, "The answer is: In the animated series "Sailor Moon", what is the general term used to describe the group comprised of Prince Diamond, Sapphire, Emerald, Rubeus, Wiseman, and the Four Sisters?"  
  
Usagi squeaked in surprise as she realized that she knew the answer to this one. She began to repeatedly hit her buzzer. Ami, who also knew the answer, was also smacking the top of the buzzer with her thumb. Chibi-Usa, however, had burst into tears because she remembered her stay with those people as Wicked Lady. Seeing this, Usagi reached over to give her a hug.  
  
This gave Ami the perfect opportunity to buzz in. Unfortunately, her buzzer slipped and hit the ground. Bending over to pick it up gave Usagi just enough time to be the first one to buzz in.  
  
Alex, who had been watching the scene with avid interest, shook his head and said, "Ah, Usagi."  
  
"What is evil people?"  
  
Alex, who now felt like smacking his forehead, just shook his head and said, "That is incorrect. Anyone else?"  
  
By this time, Ami had composed herself and so hit the buzzer.  
  
"Yes? Ami?"  
  
"What is the Black Moon Family?"  
  
"That is correct."  
  
"I'll take Advanced Spelling for 800, Alex."  
  
This is perfect, Ami thought. They'll never be able to get these, and this should be just enough points to give me a substantial lead. I will never lose!  
  
The mysterious voice read the next answer, "A spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down and chimney sweeps are dirty. Spell supercalifragilisticexpialodocious."  
  
Ami's jaw dropped, while Usagi burst into song. The only person who had a clue was Chibi-Usa, who had seen "Mary Poppins" so many times that she had the entire script memorized. Slowly, ever so slowly, the pink-haired spore's finger tapped down on the buzzer.  
  
"What is S-U-P-E-R-C-A-L-I-F-R-A-G-I-L-I-S-T-I-C-E-X-P-I-A-L-O-D-O-C-I-O-U- S!"  
  
Alex turned to the judges and was surprised to see them nodding their heads. He said, "That is correct."  
  
Chibi-Usa clapped happily and did a little dance. Usagi was distraught to see that her little demon spore of a child was beating her, but then again, she was on television, so she couldn't do anything about it, yet.  
  
Mr. Trebek smiled and said, "Chibi-Usa, it's your turn."  
  
"Oh, okay. I'll take True Love for four hundred, Alex."  
  
Again with the mysterious voice, "Fill in the blank from this famous song, 'When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's what?"  
  
Usagi, who had recently been listening to this song, buzzed in excitedly, "Oh, oh, Alex, I know. Pick me! Pick me!"  
  
An abnormally large sweat drop now appeared on the forehead of said Alex Trebek, "Yes, Usagi. Your question is?"  
  
"What's Amore!"  
  
"That is correct. 400 points for Usagi."  
  
While Usagi did a victory dance, Ami's jaw dropped in utter surprise. She still couldn't believe that, of all the people to be tied with, she was tied with Usagi! Ami shook her head and threw her arms up in confusion and dismay. At the mean time, Usagi was selecting the new answer, "I'll take True Love for 200."  
  
Mysterious voice arrives yet again, "L is for the way you LOOK at me, O is you're the ONLY one I see, V is VERY, VERY, what?"  
  
Although Usagi was also recently listening to this song, so was Ami on her date with Greg the night before. Ami's finger flew down on the buzzer. Alex looked up, smiled and said, "Ah yes, Ami, what is your question?"  
  
"What is extraordinary?"  
  
"Very well done, Ami. That brings you into second place with four hundred points. Next category?"  
  
"I'll take Dragon for 1000, Alex."  
  
Here comes Mr. Mysterious Voice, "True or false: Barney, the large purple and green creature who children adore is a dragon."  
  
Chibi-Usa began to dance around in circles. She knew the answer to this one. Usagi was frustrated. She had watched the show so many times with Chibi-Usa, and yet she couldn't remember what the stupid thing was. However, Ami had also watched the show many times while babysitting the spore, so she too knew what the purple demon was. Glaring daggers at each other, Ami and Chibi-Usa both pressed the button at the exact same moment. This caused the system to overload. Suddenly, there was an explosion.  
  
Ami, who of course was prepared, popped back from the transformation dimension, while Usagi and Chibi-Usa both had black, char-covered, burnt clothing and faces. Usagi blinked and some of the ashes fell off of her face. Ami buzzed in.  
  
Alex, who was coughing in the smoke, had to squint to see who had buzzed in, "Yes. Ami?"  
  
"What is false?" "That is correct, Ami. That brings you into the lead. Pick again."  
  
"I'll take 'Z' for 400, Alex."  
  
An annoying ringing noise suddenly filled the studio. The mysterious voice screamed, "Daily Double! Daily Double! Daily Double!"  
  
"Ami, what is your wager?"  
  
Thinking carefully, Ami finally came to a decision, "I'll wager the entire fourteen hundred, Alex. I'm going for a true daily double."  
  
As the members of the audience began to cheer, the mysterious voice interrupted, "Who is the man in black who used the letter 'Z' as his symbol?"  
  
Ami clapped her hands in delight. She had seen enough late night Disney to know the answer to this one, "Alex, who is Zorro?"  
  
Alex turned to the judges, a crowd of monkeys and wild-haired people who flipped through a large pile of papers. Seeing one of them nod, Alex turned and said, "That is correct!"  
  
Looking down, Ami saw that the one and the four in her score had changed to a two and and an eight. She began to clap excitedly for herself. Usagi scowled and was ready to growl. Chibi-Usa was scratching at the powder puff that was still stuffed down the back of her pants.  
  
The next few minutes went by quickly. Ami decided to finish out the 'Z' category. She got three more, and Chibi-Usa got the eight hundred question. This brought the totals to Ami at 4600, Usagi 200, and Chibi-Usa to 1600. Chibi-Usa managed to sneak in one more question right before the halfway buzzer rang. "I'll take True Love for eight hundred."  
  
"Okay. Mysterious voice?"  
  
The mysterious voice spoke, "I'm here. Okay, question is, 'How many chambers are there in the heart of a cow?'"  
  
Ami, who was planning to be a doctor, obviously knew the answer. However, Usagi, who had recently gone farming with Mamoru, knew about cows from the speech he had given her. Somehow, at exactly the right moment, Chibi-Usa fell off of her stool. The powder puff slipped out of her pants and into Ami's foot. She looked down to see what had hit her foot, and the buzzer slipped again. Usagi buzzed in and began to sing, "What is four? Four! Four! Four! That's four fours. Four!"  
  
Alex, who was shaking his head in dismay at the scene that was playing out before him, with Chibi-Usa rubbing her eyes due to the powder gluing them shut, Ami was turning forty shades of red as she got more and more angry about the stupid slippery buzzer, and Usagi, who thought Alex was shaking his head because she was wrong, began to cry. Alex said, "Actually, Usagi is correct. That, as we go to a commercial break, brings Usagi's score up to 1000. Now, a word from our sponsors." 


End file.
